reset 06/23/99
Mid-life is a dangerous time. I guess most people go through some kind of mid-life crisis. Often they get through it unscathed. Some buy sports cars. Some seek new thrills, such as flying. Men would do well to guard their hearts. Many men are driven into the hands of another woman by their inability to find whatever is missing in their lives, discarding their relationships with wife and children for pleasures of the moment. The Bible says in the book of Proverbs, "The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is under the Lord's wrath will fall into it." It also states that God will not let the sin of adultery go uncovered; He will testify against that man and bring him to account. Proverbs 6:27-29 asks, "Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished." Mid-life is indeed a dangerous time.
Regardless of the temptation and whether or not it leads to sin, mid-life is a time for soul searching. Some souls find their way into the Lamb's Book of Life; others set a course for self-destruction with eternal consequences. Those who already call themselves Christians often question the career path and lifestyle they've chosen, as they want to make a difference in this life and beyond. The thought of being forgotten two weeks after your burial brings forth a sense of urgency to one's remaining years. It sounds like King Solomon, the wisest man to walk the earth, aside from Jesus, was doing a lot of soul-searching throughout the book of Ecclesiastes. I know no one who desires to live a meaningless life "chasing after the wind." Neither do I.
I'm the last to brag, but I found myself in a comfortable position. I had an intelligent, loving spouse, two great, well-adjusted kids, an okay home, reasonably dependable transportation, a fantastic church home, and more. We weren't rich; we were getting comfortable. I also found myself giving significantly to others. We'd been foster parents. I had been involved in several children's ministries. In terms of charitable giving, we'd gone well past the tithe. Things were seemingly okay at my job too. I was earning a decent income. I had the respect of my peers. I'd published quite a few papers in popular technical journals. I'd traveled to places like Russia, Norway, England, France, and Canada on job-related occasions. I worked with some of the brightest people on leading edge imaging and supercomputing technologies in our national laboratories. A colleague of mine even dropped by my office occasionally to assure me that if successful in my research endeavors, I could win a Nobel prize. Although this comment was always made in a semi-serious manner, I took it all in stride, knowing that Nobel Prizes are not awarded in engineering. Still, it is a tremendous boost to feel that your work is appreciated, and not regarded as Solomon puts it, "...something meaningless under the sun."
Then I began becoming uncomfortable with being comfortable -- with a little help from circumstances. Was I really making a difference with the major fraction of my time, my career? Of course, several rounds of layoffs in the research department will get your attention. The message being heralded by the management across America was clearly that research has little value. Right behind research comes researchers. I also pondered, "Is it a valid use of my time to investigate why things work the way they do? Why not just ask God, since physics is his specialty? If he'll answer, it'd sure save a lot of time and effort." I also began to be challenged spiritually. Does my work honor God? Does it make an eternal difference? Am I in the center of God's perfect will for my life? Is there something else I could do that would have a greater impact on the eternal destiny of those I pass in the halls and in the malls? Should God's work be limited to evenings and weekends? Was I a part-time Christian due to dilution?
There certainly were other things I have enjoyed over the years that potentially could honor God in a greater way, if done on a full-time basis. Among those were composing music and writing short stories, but I'd neither performed in public nor successfully impressed a publisher. The internal pull in these directions was undeniable, but I questioned my ability to overcome my severe introvertism and my ability to garner a steady income -- or any income at all. I prayed about it a lot. Finally, I told God that if He wanted me to pursue music or writing, He needed to send me a strong word of encouragement.
When the children's bus ministry moved activities to Saturday, I suddenly had no commitments on Sunday morning for the first time in a decade. My wife and I began to attend Zig Ziglar's Sunday School class, known as the Encouragers Class. Zig is a great speaker and motivator. He draws a crowd, so it was easy to retain anonymity. One Sunday, Zig challenged the class to read In His Steps by Charles Sheldon. Zig also said that if anyone pledged to follow the book's creed to always ask what would Jesus do in each and every situation we encounter, he wanted to know about it. I made a note of the book title, but later that day, my wife produced a copy for me directly from our bookshelf at home. She remembered it was there, but she didn't recall being overly impressed by the book. As I began reading, I wasn't captivated by the plot or literary style, but the theme of the book was hard to discount. One Sunday before class, I presented Zig with a letter stating that I'd read the book, and I was struggling with God's will for me with regard to my career. Two weeks later, I received a personal telephone call from Zig Ziglar. He was initially very apologetic. You see, he'd placed my letter in his jacket pocket and forgotten about it. Only when he went to put on the same suit again did he rediscover and read my letter. I never expected a phone call from him. He's a celebrity, a best-selling author with speaking engagements all over the globe, but Zig Ziglar gave me a call to follow up on my acceptance of the challenge he gave from the podium. Zig told me about the length of time it took for him to be able to do what he does best on a full time basis. The consummate encourager was giving me a personal motivational word, spurring me on to find God's will and do it. I continued to attend Zig's class, and we exchanged a handful of letters. It just goes to show that you better be careful what you pray for, because you just might get it.
About that time, my wife had cut out an add from a Christian magazine concerning a writers workshop. This magazine was offering an all expense paid workshop to foster the talents of potential freelance writers. I guess they were trying to guarantee a steady supply of literary contributors. To enter, one had to submit a sample of writing with a Christian message. As I had several chapters of this book written, I thought the timing was not by coincidence. The only catch was in the word limit. I had decided that the Diamond Tree story held my best potential as a stand alone narrative, but the word count feature of my word processor told me that my ready-made chapter was more than twice the acceptable length. I mercilessly chopped and whittled away. With each successive deletion, the job became more difficult. After some painful decision-making, I had my story. I recall my bold certainty that I was going to win one of those spots, and this just might be the launching pad for a new career. As the notification period approached, I nervously sifted through each day's mail. The winners notification never came. That was a real let down. I stayed away from writing for the next couple of months -- literary writing that is.
Just a few short months later, I found myself joining another church. My old church had outgrown the facilities and announced a plan to move the church significantly further north. As we were already logging a 25 mile trek each way, we found ourselves not getting caught up in the excitement that surrounds a move to the bigger and better. We probably would have stuck with our old church a little longer, but the death of a prior pastor prompted our early departure. This pastor was very much loved but was forced to leave the church due to marital infidelity. You see, that former pastor had dreamed of moving the church many years before. To see the vision become a reality under the leadership of someone else was emotionally taxing, especially for Rose. The birth of the dream juxtaposed to the death at an early age from brain cancer of the man who first bore that dream proved too difficult for us. We never returned there for Sunday services after the funeral. God was tugging on our hearts and signaling to us that it was time to begin a new chapter, a new ministry, a new spiritual journey. Just as I had felt a sense of peace in first coming to Dallas, I knew the seed of Christian service and spiritual awakening had been planted. It was time to find God's will all over again.
Still, another revelation haunts me. Surely God would like to use me and whatever talents I have to His glory, but perhaps I'm not the one to carry the banner. Maybe my calling is a necessary but less dignified one. As I think about the great keepers of the faith in the Bible and in modern times, one thought surfaces. These great men and women did not get to where they were going alone. Most had parents, grandparents, friends, or relatives who instilled in them a foundation of Godly principles. As I look through Genesis, Chronicles, and even the Gospel of Matthew, I see a long procession of names before reaching those more notable descendants. I see that each and every name is important, and a break in the chain has unforeseen, yet far-reaching, ramifications. Had there not been a Arphaxad, we would not have a record of Abraham, whose faithfulness has brought God's blessing upon his descendants to this day. Had there never been an Amram, we'd never have heard of Moses, who faithfully served as an instrument of liberation for God's people from bondage in Egypt. If not for Zerubbabel, the very lineage of Jesus would have been broken.
My creed is a combination of the declaration of Mordecai to Esther, queen of ancient Iran, and of Job as he agonized over his plight. Mordecai told Esther, his cousin, that maybe she'd come to such a position in life for the purpose of saving her people. Mordecai insisted to let it be done through Esther and not another. Esther from her position of prominence exposed her heritage at the risk of her own life in obedience to her interpretation of God's will for her life. On the other extreme, Job, stripped of wealth, family, friends, and health, declared, "Though He slay me, I will praise the Lord." Knowing not why things were the way they were, Job recognized that God's plan outweighs the desires of the individual mortal man. What is best is not always visible in a single instant in time or in a single person's life. Sometimes the collective good is only seen with the passage of time. Sometimes good is only recognized by the impact of events over several generations. Just take a look in the book of Hebrews in the well known "Hall of Faith" passages. There we are reminded of the faithful who never saw the promises of God fulfilled in their lifetime. Nevertheless, every promise was kept, and their faith was counted as righteousness.
I've come to the sobering realization that it's a noble calling to be a good husband or father. It is honorable to bring home a paycheck which allows my wife to take a lower wage nursing job taking care of underprivileged children in our public schools and the undesirable portions of our community. It is justification enough to raise children in the fear and admonition of the Lord who someday may play the piano for their church or preach from a pulpit. It's a justifiable ambition to teach about Jesus and God's plan of salvation in Sunday School. Which one of those kids will go on to be a missionary at home or abroad? Which life will fulfill the master plan? Which life will fulfill the Master's plan?
Even as I wrestle with the possibilities of being a less prominent piece of God's puzzle, I cannot draw that lot for myself. I can be content with my role, as long as I know it is God's role for me. As long as some uncertainty exists, I must keep testing the doors of opportunity that are available to me. I trust in God to keep redirecting me from the wrong path. I will continue to seek God's will concerning career alternatives. This book is a first start. By reading this book, you may in fact be fulfilling God's will for me. If a new ministry opportunity opens up for me, I'll praise the Lord. If I am never more than what I am today, I will praise the Lord. I will have done my part in the seeking. I can go to the grave at peace with myself and my God.
In order to act on the word of God, we need to read it and understand its relevancy for us today. God's will will not run counter to God's word, the Bible. We must be knowledgeable of what the Bible teaches and align ourselves with God's expectation of us. Anyone thinking they are doing a fantastic job in their workplace, but fails to meet the expectations of their boss, is spinning their wheels. Should we approach our relationship with the creator of the universe any less seriously?
Do you know enough about the Bible to teach, rebuke, correct, and train, as cited concerning scripture in 2 Timothy 3:16? In Ephesians 6:18, Paul refers to the word of God as the sword of the Spirit which enables us to take a stand against the devil's schemes. Fellow Christian, you don't have to initiate the conflict, because the battle will come to you. Can you adequately defend yourself and your faith?
When we know that we are loved unconditionally, that we are valued, and that there is a God-intended purpose for our life, we can enter each day with confidence. God, who transcends time, knows the details of your life before they are lived out. Life for each individual has purpose. What is your God-given role in life? Failure to find and complete that mission is our second biggest possible mistake. Worse is to miss out on eternal fellowship with God altogether. Are you prepared for the remainder of this life and the life to come? Are you ready to finish strong? Will you be able to hear those endearing words of the Master found in Matthew 25:21, "... Well done, good and faithful servant! ... Come and share your master's happiness!"
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reset 06/23/99