reset 06/23/99
Why can people can be presented with the same evidence, yet see entirely different things? An analogy is drawn with cloud watching. Some are able to see familiar outlines or patterns in the sky. Others see just clouds. People are shaped by the course of human experience. Souls are redeemed by the willingness to see God's outstretched hand to help us through each of those experiences. Some float through life without seeing the imprint of God, as He carefully molds His most precious creation, us.
For years I was concerned that I had no powerful Christian testimony. For years I thought my story just didn't measure up. My testimony was boring. I had no harrowing tale of a prior life on the road to self-destruction. Only much later did I come to realize that a testimony is not only a list of facts or events leading up to becoming a Christian, but it includes any and all of life's situations which glorify God. Suddenly, I had a powerful testimony of God's grace and goodness.
The summers of my youth were spent on my grandparents' farm in South Texas. It was there that I learned about the value of hard work and the fragility of life. I spin tales of rattlesnake hunting and laboring in the fields. I relate the witness of the birth of a stillborn calf and having to drag the lifeless creature out into the pasture. I tell of the death of one of my heroes, my grandfather. Pawnee was a wonderful place! Pawnee is a wonderful place! Your Pawnee need not be a physically remote place. Rather, Pawnee is a shelter, a haven, an ideal, wherever unconditional love can replace anxiety.
I coached a Boy's Club basketball team one season. We were awful. Early in the season, our guys suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of our city rival. Our team steadily improved, developing skills that weren't there before -- learning that teamwork can win games. At the end of the season, we had a rematch. To the total amazement of the opposition, our team matched them point-for-point. At a critical juncture in the game, I pulled one boy from the action in order to secure a chance at victory. We won the game, but at what cost?
I tell of adventures looking for a spouse, a girl-friend, a date. When you think you have found the perfect mate, think again. God can send someone from "left field" to be your lifemate. I tell of our early physical separation by 2000 miles and relate that to our separation from God due to sin. God wants nothing more than to be reunited with us in this life and throughout eternity.
Landing that first real job is an anxiety-filled event. I got a job in the oil industry when oil price had hit rock bottom. God had a job for me. Jesus was part of the work force just like you and me. In this revolving door job climate, we need to stop and ask ourselves: 1) Why am I here? 2) Is there anything else I should be doing, and 3) Have I positioned myself for what God has in store for me next?
We had a daughter because my wife, who had been out of the baby-making business for 17 years, wanted me to experience fatherhood. I relate the departure of my wife for military duty in Operation Desert Storm and her homecoming. A string of miraculous events led to the conception and birth of my son. Life is fragile. New life is a miracle. The fact that it happens so frequently has reduced the miraculous to the ordinary, the common. Genesis tells us we are fashioned in God's image. Exactly what that means has been a subject of debate by theologians for centuries, but it does elevate mankind over the rest of creation. I'm sure God agonizes over one abortion more than the plight of all the whales and baby seals. Which cause is more apt to stir your emotions?
Personal experience has taught us to build walls of protection between us and the world outside. Sometimes we can learn from tragedy and unlikely sources, our pets. I relate the premeditated use of deadly force by a neighbor on our family dog and the emotional problems that resulted from this incident. In particular, my daughter began exhibiting acute separation anxiety. We should experience a separation anxiety when we fail to see God with us. We should be panic stricken when faced with acting on our own accord. Often we save God for when we really need him, as if we had an exhaustive supply of His love. The God who formed this universe from nothingness, the God who assembled the atom, the God who breathed life into a lump of inert clay, the God who fashioned your DNA, this God loves YOU unconditionally. Will you return that love?
We provided a home to a stray puppy that refused to leave our front yard. The moment he was adopted, he was given all the privileges of our $750, registered pure-blood Rottweiller. He was brought from the streets and elevated to the status of royalty. That mutt ate everything in sight when he did not know when or from where his next meal would come. Now he is convinced that all his needs will be met. As Christians, we too have been brought from a depraved state and been given a seat at the King's Table. We, too, can rest assured that God will provide our every need.
Our baby factory had closed up shop, but as a family, we felt that we could help children less fortunate than ours. We decided to become foster parents. An unfortunate set of circumstances led up to our rejection as parents by our foster child. Imagine how God must feel when he is rejected as Father. God can give multiple opportunities, but we must not presume another chance will come our way. Let not your heart be hardened.
I'm terrible at remembering names. It's not that I can't, but that I don't make the effort. As a veteran Sunday School teacher, I think of every child who has been promoted to a higher class as being my child. One Sunday as I was going down the stairs carrying supplies, I saw a former student going the opposite direction. I recognized his face immediately as a member of the previous year's class, but I could not remember little Samuel's name in order to greet him. He must have sensed it also, because he asked repeatedly, "What's my name? What's my name?" The greater the distance between us, the louder he pleaded for me to remember him. In the time span of that chance encounter, I couldn't recall his name. I know Samuel was crushed that day because a teacher he admired had 'forgotten' him. God never forgets, nor does he disappoint. There is power in his name.
Since about our eighth wedding anniversary, my wife, Rose, had warned me in no uncertain terms that she expected a good present for our tenth anniversary. Rose soon let me know exactly what she expected, a diamond bracelet. I relate the story of the loss of this anniversary bracelet and how it came back to us. This is a story of perspective -- what's really important in life and how the loss of an item brought an enriching experience of surrender to God. Things are just things. God owns it all. God can replace it all and more. The question is, "Should he?" Matthew 16:26 reminds us of the words of Jesus, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the world, yet forfeits his soul?" Finding things doesn't compare with finding your way to God.
Each of us has that little something physical about themselves they really would like to change. The New Testament writer, Paul, is tormented, not just annoyed or saddened, by his defect which God refused to mend or restore. I too have a thorn in the flesh. I can relate to Paul's declaration, because when I am weak physically, I am strengthened emotionally and spiritually. People are scared to death of a six-letter word, CANCER, because it reminds us of our mortality and the possibility of a painful death. Why are people not scared of a four-letter word, HELL? Repent, seal your eternal destiny, then bring your petitions to God.
On the road to Santa Fe, I thought my life was coming to an end. Three times I felt faint with sharp chest pains and pulled over to the side of the road to pray. Far from home and the family I loved, I asked God to allow me to finish this life strong. I ate what I thought might be my last meal in Santa Fe that evening. I drove on to Los Alamos thinking of all the unfinished business I had with God. I knew there were things left for me to do this side of heaven. Medically, it turned out to be acute heartburn. Spiritually, it turned out to be acute heart examination. Whatever direction you're driving today, stop the car, examine your spiritual condition, steer in God's direction, and mash that accelerator!
Mid-life is a dangerous time. Some souls find their way into the Lamb's Book of Life; others set a course for self-destruction with eternal consequences. I tell of meeting a challenge set before me by Zig Ziglar. This book is but one result of earnestly seeking God's greater calling. I wrestle with the possibilities of being a less prominent piece of God's puzzle, but I cannot draw that lot for myself. I can be content with my role, as long as I know it is God's role for me. As long as some uncertainty exists, I must keep testing the doors of opportunity that are available to me. When we know that we are loved unconditionally, that we are valued, and that there is a God-intended purpose for our life, we can enter each day with confidence. God, who transcends time, knows the details of your life before they are lived out. Life for each individual has purpose. What is your God-given role in life? Failure to find and complete that mission is our second biggest possible mistake. Worse is to miss out on eternal fellowship with God altogether.
At the time of this writing, I would be considered a young man by the world's standards. Some may say, "What is a young fellow like yourself doing writing autobiographic material? Wouldn't decent folks wait until they die and let someone else tell their life story?" I write because I am compelled to acknowledge God's grace experienced firsthand. I write not to elevate myself, but solely to magnify the one and only true God who knows the number of gray hairs on my head, who has woven a divine path for my life, and who guards my future. What will make my joy complete? My joy will be complete when my simple story is overwhelmed by a flood of compelling testimonials of God's grace too great for the world to ignore. If the Lord grants me a daily extension of this life, there will be more chapters yet to write. Meanwhile, I rejoice in the fact that I have a testimony.
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reset 06/23/99